Beautiful, overcast, peaceful Saturday morning. Off work thank God. Actually sitting down and eating a nice breakfast instead of standing up shoving bites of food in my mouth between customers. These are the moments that make me happy. Peace, simple yet so elusive in this world.
I took Niko to the cat rescue the other day to get him neutered. I felt so guilty dropping him off smh. It's a pretty cool program they have. They spay and neuter all stray and neighborhood cats and also once a month you can bring your cat in and get him taken care of, neutered, rabies etc all for $25. I think that alot of people love animals but unfortunetly can't afford to care for them. Taking a pet to the vet is about as expensive as it is for us humans. It is nice to know that there are places available to reduce the price of caring for your animal. I have always been a dog person, but since they don't allow them here I have Niko. I love that he is independent and shares his affection with everyone in our house. He literally makes his rounds from room to room, person to person. Niko brings me comfort and affection. I don't think I'm ready for anything more then that right now. An animals needs are so simple. People- not so much. Dealing with another person and all their complexities, issues and baggage I know would overwhelm me because I know how much of all that I carry with myself. My whole life has always been entertwined with another- entangled, twisted and merged. I feel like now I can actually breathe, at my own speed and time. Maybe I'm just now officially crazy as I get older, but I no longer give a fuck. Getting comfortable in your own skin has taken me a lifetime. I guess my biggest fear is that I will lose this feeling if I start a new relationship right now. I am only accountable for me and that feels great.
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