So, I finally got a good nights sleep last night. I actually woke up fresh. What a difference 6 hours makes versus the usual 4. Lesson learned. I actually got to do "manager stuff" today. Finally able to go through some things on the computer and desk.
I also learned how uptight I am around someone I adore. Smh, I absolutely need to learn how to relax! Why I am weird like this, I have no idea. Around people that don't truly matter, I can get loose real quick. Put someone that I actually want to be with and around and Bam! I absolutely get stuck. Maybe because it's been so long since I've been around anyone that actually matters to me, outside of my kids. I really think it's time I got my medical weed card. I have high anxiety and can't take benzos. I don't ever want to be dependent on a pill bottle again. However, weed always did it for me, way before all the real drugs happened. The only thing I ever damaged on weed was the food in my fridge! I don't know, just my honest thoughts.
Random things in my brain- it's been a minute since I met a female who is absolutely more thorough than most men I know. Men are easy, but a real female is rare and hard to find. Why I do this to myself I have absolutely no idea. I always want what I can't have. I'm at the point where rather deal with some of the men I know, I'd rather wait and see what this person is about. I just wish I didn't make shit so awkward because I'm scared. All I want in this situation is some time and attention and friendship and intimacy. Not trying to disrupt a friends life. We shall see...
I'm off tomorrow. Going to hang with Hannah and go to a rally. End Death By Incarceration..It's at the Capitol which is one street from my house. I believe in the cause and I am incredibly excited to see my friends from upstate. It's important for people to see that change can happen, and second chances are worth giving if someone is ready. I'm living proof.
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